There are moments in ones life that are forever etched into our souls. The good, the sad, the funny moments that make life, well, life, are like stepping stones in a river we spend our lives crossing. They mark our path so that when we look back, we see where we've been. I have many such moments indelibly marked on my heart but the one I'm thinking of today is the day I spent twenty four hours sitting vigil at my grandmothers bed as she drew her last breath.
As I held the hand of the woman who helped raise me, reading to her, sharing stories with her, telling her it was okay to let go of the body that had finally given up after a whirlwind ride through this life, I was alone. Except for my friend who sat with me via technology. Without fail every fifteen or twenty minutes she'd send me a text. She asked me to tell her stories of my grandmother. She would tell me what the weather was like outside since I couldn't see the sky from where I sat. She would say silly things to make me smile or inappropriate things that we all think in these moments, but would never say aloud. This friend would quietly remind me that in that moment of agony, as I let go of the last woman in my family who made me who I am, I would never be alone.
Sitting still is powerful. It provides and requires a strength found only in the strong of heart. Sitting still isn't about making someone feel better or fixing something or feeling useful. It is about being present, at the ready, standing witness.
I am standing in the river of my life today, my eyes focused on that singular stepping stone, hoping I too, might be able to stand still for one that I love today, so that in the future, she'll see, she is never alone.
