I’m married. While
some have said “again”, I have to say this feels different. Yes, I had a twenty-two year relationship and
somewhere along the way we began saying wife instead of partner. Because it felt like the logical thing to do, eventually we filled out a form, mailed it in to the state and got back cards that announced
our civil partnership. When we ended our
relationship we had to file paperwork, pay a fee and stand in front of judge to
dissolve it. So technically, “again” is
probably appropriate. But I have felt
nothing but newness and experienced all kinds of firsts that make “again” feel
like a technicality.
I was never engaged before now, with a proposal and a ring. I never picked out flowers, a dress or got my
hair done for ceremony…or even had a ceremony.
Loved ones never toasted my union or wished us many years of happiness. I never stood in front of my most cherished
friends, looked someone in the eye and vowed to love, honor and cherish
them. Not once before this week did a county
clerk certify a license, hand me the “pretty, frame-able” copy and say, “Congratulations,
you’re a Mrs. And Mrs.!” When I say wife
now, it really means wife. It’s no
longer a political statement to remind people I’m gay and have a significant
other. It’s a legally and socially
recognized term.
One of my dear friends said to me at the wedding, “you’ll
feel different, watch and see”. I saw
her today and I said, “You’re right, it feels different.” I honestly didn’t think it would, but it
does. Without sounding like someone with regrets, because I do not regret what
came before, my marriage feels like a first, not an “again”. It feels like something of
and with intention. That is definitely a
first I am honored to be able to offer my wife.
